Truths

I thought that this blog would be a good way to get the stories of the clients across to the public. It is often times very surprising hearing the ways in which clients end up in homelessness. There are the stereotypical types of situations in which someone becomes homeless because of drugs or alcohol. But many times there are other factors and situations that play into someone’s homelessness. There are a great number of people here at St. Vincent’s because of layoffs, divorce, and personal or family illness. It took a long time for me to find someone that would be willing to put their story online in this blog. But I finally found someone brave enough to do it. J.R. let me write down is his story so I could share it in this blog. I was interested in his path to homelessness and what experiences led him there. And so this is his story from his mouth.





I grew up in Salinas California, where I lived with my two brothers six sisters. My sisters are older and my brothers are younger. I’m the oldest of my siblings that hasn’t been married. The closest I got to marriage was living with one of my girlfriends. My life began to change for me when I decided to move to Oakland with her five years ago. I moved to Oakland in 2002 because I got fired from my job that I had in Salinas. I came because my girlfriend told me that she could help me find a job in Oakland. She knew a few people and she got me hired at the dollar store but I didn’t really like that job so I only stayed there for a month. I then found a job at the Oakland airport that I had for about 3 years. I wasn’t really qualified for the job but I had the connections so I got in.

The first four months of my job were really hard. I was a fuel filler of the air planes at the Oakland airport. It took me a long time to figure out how to do that job. Once I got the idea of how to do it I began to really enjoy it. My boss and co workers also really enjoyed me working there. They would ask me to come into work even on my days off to help out because I was such a good worker. My girlfriend at the time was beginning to have some drug problems which was when everything started to go downhill.

I was working all the time trying to make ends meet with my girlfriend. She wasn’t working but she was getting a check so I was able to put away some money. Then she started getting into drugs really bad. Things began to change fast. She began stealing from me. She ended up stealing money from my savings account, until I was broke, and at one point she stole my work truck so I was able to get to work but I had to take the bus. Her drug addiction put a tremendous amount of stress on me, and my work also began to suffer. It took me two hours to walk to work each day. I was just trying to make some money to survive.

My girlfriend was continuing to use. It got to the point where I became so burnt out and I looked so out of shape that my co workers knew something was up. They thought I was using drugs. The rumors spread fast and my co workers lost trust in me. Without anyone helping me to take care of the bills I wasn’t able to pay rent. Pretty soon we were living on the streets. Even though she stole my truck I didn’t want to turn her into the police because I cared about her a lot. I knew she needed help but I didn’t know what to do. Her addiction dragged us both down in this hole I haven’t really been able to get out of.

Even though I was upset about the damage she caused me I was glad she was still alive. I was fired from work and I was so ashamed to see my co workers that I didn’t pick up my last check for two months. I went from loving my job and being loved by my co workers to nothing in a matter of months. When I finally went to go get my last check it hit me this is the last check I’m ever going to get, and it depressed the hell out of me. I had nothing. I never thought that this kind of thing would happen to me.


I spent most of my time feeding the geese and pigeons because I had nothing else to do and I was very depressed. Even though she left me to go get high, I was still looking for her and I still wanted her to be in my life. There were times when I would just be walking around and praying for her to return. I didn’t give up hope in her. Finally she got clean for a while but the drug still had a hold of her and she went back to it after a while. I tried to push her to get clean, but it seemed to fall apart. We argued a lot and things didn’t seem to work. I believed that in order for her to come clean I had to have some faith, but the more I tried the more she pulled away from me. Drug dealers feed on the weak and that’s what they did with her. I tried my best to keep her alive. I was so angry at her, and that anger stuck around through the rest of the relationship. We could have had so much if she didn’t get involved in drugs.

Then things started happening with St. Vincent’s like being in Seldom Seen and working and volunteering in the men’s center. I didn’t want to do this run around with her anymore. Especially when I made the cover of the Tribune I knew I had to get out of that situation. We ended up going our separate ways. I’m glad that happened and that she ended up getting clean and getting out of the drug scene and I was able to focus on my life. The day that she left I finally realized what had I done. I was sad to see her leave. I was sad because I was going to be alone. I was happy I did something that was going to make her life better, and I’m sure that she loves me for it. The way I see it is that I gave her something no one else gave her I gave her peace of mind. That was what I wanted for her. It was my goal. When I knew she had a place to say and was clean I had some peace of mind also. I was happy she was OK and off the streets. She also knows that I can’t be with her because I have to finish what I stated here in Oakland. No matter what happens now I know I did the right thing for her and me, I have complete confidence that that was the right decision.

I found myself happy for doing something I love doing. I feel like acting in Seldom Seen is my ticket out and off the streets. It gives me hope to do something I love. I am proud of what I have accomplished for myself and my family is proud of me. They know what I’m doing and are happy for me, and I am very happy that I made the decision to change my life. For anyone who reads this and knows someone who is using drugs whether it is a girlfriend, boyfriend, or parent. Know that you may want to push them to get better but you don’t want to push them too hard or they will you push away. And always have faith and believe in them that they will get better. I hope that someday I will be able to get back on my feet and recover from this. I want to get a part time job and be able to put this behind me. Believe in yourself because if you want change the only person who can do it is you. As log as you have faith and belief in yourself you can do anything you want to do in your life. I would not have been able to get though this without the man above my belief in him helped me out a lot.





One of my clients once told me that when you listen to someone’s story you are listening to their truths. I want to thank J.R. for sharing his truth with me and for his bravery in sharing his truth with whoever reads this. It takes a strong and giving person to be able offer themselves and others this kind of personal openness. Many times we get so caught up in what we are doing right now or what we have to do in the future that we forget how we got where we are, we forget what joys and what struggles we’ve had to go through to get to this point; right now. It’s good to be able to reflect on that from time to time and thank ourselves for being who we are because no one is the same or replaceable.
~Mike